After Viswaroopam, Kochadaiyan and Ajith/Vijay films in trouble!

With intolerance being the order of the day and Viswaroopam's troubles seem endless, there is little you or us as sensible fans can can do. Other than spinning yarns of imaginary tales like this to mock the preposterous nature of hate propaganda leveled against a promising movie like Viswaroopam from an accomplished artist like Kamal Hassan.

A few possible bans that could pop up in the coming days:

What next is a ban on the screening of Kochadaiyaan. And why? Because Kochadaiyaan is said to show men with pony tail in poor light. You would have seen them often in the urban jungle you inhabit but men with pony tails are just a common sight and even a cult in villages. They are a ruffled and frustrated lot these days for Kochadaiyaan is mocking their sensibilities. 

Tamil Nadu has about 350 registered castes and about thousands of sub-castes. All of them have their own registered societies and any movie, ever made that has a semblance or make reference to one caste or another, will have to be shown to each one of these societies. If one of these societies is located in a remote village that has no electricity, a generator is required to be carried along for screening. 

You will need a No Objection certificate from every single individual whose name you are using in the movie. For instance, if you are using the name Shiva, you will have to obtain the certificate from everyone who is Shiva after screening the movie. This applies not only to the name of the lead character of the movie but for every other character.

Ajith's Valai could get into an issue owing to the sensitive nature of the title. Valai - net is used by not only fishermen but it is also the synonym for the internet. Which means, it's not enough that you screen the movie to fishermen (who do any form of fishing, be it in an ocean or a dirty puddle next to your village) but also to the internet users as a whole.

In the same manner, Vijay's Thalaiva might need no objection certification from political leaders and all leaders of caste societies, student leaders and other societies such as 'Varuthapadaada Valibar Sangam.'

And if you are starting off with a caste society, the government is soon going to make it easy for you to obtain registration for your society. A wallmart type supermarket will be opened with the sole purpose of issuing such certificates. Last heard, even venture capitalists from across the globe are showing interest in the project. Beat that, now!

• 2012 - The surprises and disappointments!